The Child's Bill of Rights outlines some specific strategies your child can use to protect himself. You should discuss these and the "three Rs" of Youth Protection with your child before completing the Youth Protection joining requirements. These could provide the information that your son needs to help him respond to the situations in the exercises.
When feeling threatened, you have the right to
It's important to remember that these are protective actions that will give your son the power to protect himself.
The Boy Scouts of America bases the Youth Protection strategies it teaches its members on the "three Rs" of Youth Protection:
The "three Rs" of Youth Protection provide a useful tool for parents when they talk with their 11- to 14-year-old children about sexual abuse. Children of this age are less apt than younger children to respond to a list of child safety rules. They need to develop the problem-solving skills necessary to evaluate situations and come up with their own responses. Parents need to help their children develop these skills.
You can help your children develop their personal safety skills. Read the following material with your son. Use the "three Rs" of Youth Protection and the Child's Bill of Rights as references.
When you're on-line, you are in a public place, among thousands of people who are on-line at the same time. Be safe by following these personal protection rules and you will have fun:
When a boy joins the Scouting program, he assumes a duty to be faithful to the rules of Scouting as represented in the Scout Oath, Scout Law, Scout motto, and Scout slogan.
The rules of Scouting don't require a Scout to put himself in possibly dangerous situations—quite the contrary, we want Scouts to "be prepared" and to "do their best" to avoid these situations.
We hope that you will discuss these rules with your Scout and be sure that he understands that he should not risk his safety to follow the rules of Scouting.
The Scout Oath includes the phrase "To help other people at all times." The Scout Law says that "A Scout is helpful," and the Scout slogan is "Do a Good Turn Daily." There are many people who need help, and a Boy Scout should be willing to lend a hand when needed.
Sometimes people who really do not need help will ask for it in order to create an opportunity for abuse. Boy Scouts should be very familiar with the rules of safety so that they can recognize situations to be wary of. For example:
The Scout Law also states that a Scout is obedient—but a Scout does not have to obey an adult when that person tells him to do something that the Scout feels is wrong or that makes the Scout feel uncomfortable. In these situations, the Scout should talk with his parent about his concerns.
The following stories will help your son understand how to use the "three Rs" of Youth Protection. These situations might be more detailed than you feel comfortable with; however, if children are going to learn about sexual abuse, they must be able to identify and discuss specific acts.
I am a 12-year-old boy in the sixth grade at my middle school. Every afternoon after school, I go to a recreation center until my mom gets home from work. One of the guys who works at the center has been spending a lot of time with me lately. He's really nice, and he told me that he would teach me how to wrestle. He said that wrestling would be a good sport for me because it has different weight classes and I'm so small I would be wrestling other kids my own size. I've got to admit that I like to wrestle. But there's something bothering me. This guy who's teaching me to wrestle wants me to come to the center on Sunday when no one else is there. He said that we would have the place to ourselves, and he could really teach me a lot. I'd like to, but I've been noticing that when he's teaching me, he holds me down and sometimes grabs me between the legs. He makes like it's a real funny joke, but I'm not so sure that I like it.
I am a 13-year-old boy with a problem—my 17-year-old uncle, Roy. Roy stays with me when my parents go out of town. The last time, he started to act really strange. He wouldn't let me out of his sight. Even when I took a shower, he insisted that I keep the bathroom door open. When I turned around, Roy was taking a picture of me in the shower. He told me there wasn't any film in the camera and that it was a joke. I don't think it was funny, though. On the last night he was there, he told me to come into his bedroom and watch TV with him—only it wasn't TV, it was sex stuff. He told me not to tell anyone because if I did he would be in trouble and so would I.
My name is Steven. I go to junior high school and make pretty good grades, so I'm not stupid. But the other day something happened that made me feel really dumb. A group of guys decided that they wanted to start a secret club. Only a few kids would be able to join their club. It was a fun thing, and the only way that you could join was to be asked by one of the members of the club. Well, one of my friends belonged and asked me to join. I was really flattered, and I really wanted to join. He told me that the club was meeting in one of the storage buildings on campus and that we could get high and have some fun—then he grabbed my crotch and laughed.
A child must feel comfortable telling his parent about any sensitive problems or experiences in which someone approached him in an improper manner, or in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. Studies have shown that more than half of all child abuse incidents are never reported because the victims are too afraid or too confused to report their experiences.
Your children need to be able to talk freely about their likes and dislikes, their friends, and their true feelings. You can create open communication through family meetings where safety issues can be talked about by the entire family. The Youth Protection materials could be discussed in a family meeting.
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