
Think you're lonely? Think you've found a friend? Think again.
Justin, 15, recently moved to a new town. He hasn't made many friends yet. So he visits Internet chat rooms, where he can communicate with kids from around the world. They talk about sports, movies, dating, the usual stuff.
Justin chimes in occasionally but tends to back off when others start typing. Once there were about 12 people in the room when "Spyman" sent an instant message, asking Justin if he wanted to join him in a private chat room.
Spyman seems nice enough. He's 17 and shares with Justin a passion for video games and basketball.
The next time Justin logs in, Spyman again invites him for a private chat. This time the conversation gets a bit more personal.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" "How do you get along with your parents?" "Do you ever feel lonely?" Justin confides in Spyman that he's new in town. Over the next several weeks there are more chat sessions and e-mails. Justin thinks of Spyman as a friend.
The friends start exchanging other information, such as where they go to school, where they like to hang out and where they live. Finally, Spyman asks Justin if he would like to get together. "I'm hanging out at my Uncle Jim's house," he told Justin. "He's a cool guy who has lots of video games." Spyman arranges for Jim to pick Justin up after school.
Sure enough, "Jim" showed up in front of Justin's school, but Justin got nervous and decided not to get in the car. Good thing. A few weeks later, "Spyman"actually a 34-year-old manwas arrested for molesting a teenage boy in another state.
The names and some of the details have been changed. But this story is typical of the hundreds of cases investigated each year by the Exploited Child Unit of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) along with the F.B.I. and local police departments. Sadly, not all end happily. Of the more than 5,100 cases reported to the Center since 1998, some have had tragicsometimes fatalconsequences.
Most online enticement cases start in a chat room, according to Ruben Rodriguez, director of the Exploited Child Unit. The predator hangs out in a public chat room looking for a young person he things is vulnerable. When a predator finds someone, he invites him or her into a private chat room. That's followed by more chats, e-mail and, in some cases, phone calls. Finally, the predator tries to arrange a face-to-face meeting.
It can take several months to turn an initial chat room contact into a meeting, but that doesn't stop these predators, Mr. Rodriguez says. "They know how to manipulate children," he says. "They know their likes and dislikes and they know what buttons to push."
Tactics often include giving the young person emotional support. It might start with the predator "confiding" something such as difficulty with parents, problems at school or problems in a relationship. In some cases, the predator will e-mail photos, possibly including pornographic images. It's all part of an effort to lower the victim's resistance to whatever the predator has in mind.
You don't have to be forcibly snatched from your home to be a victim. Most of the time, kids are lured into a dangerous situation. Sometimes they go along willingly. Trouble is, what might start out as a seemingly positive relationship can degenerate into something horrific.
Cyber-danger isn't always tragic. But it's often unpleasant and potentially dangerous. In most cases, it's a result of giving out information online.
Be thoughtful of which Web sites you visit. What you see on some sites can not only make you uncomfortable but could get you into trouble if others find out you've been there. Be especially careful at school or when there are other people around. Even if the site doesn't bother you, it could disturb others.
Some people forget their manners when they're online just as some drivers can be rude when they're behind the wheel of a car. Be respectful of people you're communicating with and don't do anything online that you wouldn't do in the "real world."
In the "real world," you would never arrange to get in a car with a total stranger. Justin, the new kid in town, almost did. He's around today to tell his story because he thought twice.
Take this pledge to be safe online. Copy this pledge and post it near the computer.
The predator hangs out in a public chat room looking for a young person, he then invites them into a private chat room. That's followed by more chats, e-mail and phone calls. Finally, the predator will try to arrange a face-to-face meeting.
Check out these resources for more information:
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